The Library
ScriptGriefFamily1 minute read
Telling children about a death
Simple, honest words for a hard conversation.
Children need the truth, in words that fit their age.
Use plain words
Say died and dead, not lost or gone to sleep. Young children take words literally and may become afraid of sleeping or of getting lost.
Example words
- "I have some very sad news. Grandad died today. His body stopped working and it cannot start again."
- "It is nobody's fault."
- "You can ask me anything, and you can feel however you feel."
What to expect
- Children often grieve in bursts, playing one minute and crying the next
- They may ask the same questions many times
- Younger children may not understand that death is permanent
- Teenagers may pull away or act angry
Help them belong
Let them be part of rituals if they want to: drawing something for the coffin, choosing a song, lighting a candle. Tell their school what has happened.
It is fine to cry in front of them. It shows them grief is normal.
