Heavy subjectGriefFamilyTrauma1 minute read
Grieving someone you had a hard relationship with
When the person who died also hurt you.
Not every loss is of someone you loved simply. Sometimes the person who died was violent, cruel, absent or difficult.
Mixed feelings are normal
You might feel relief, anger, sadness, guilt or nothing at all. You might grieve the relationship you never had more than the person you had. All of that makes sense.
Pressure to speak well of them
At funerals and in families, there can be pressure to talk only about the good. You do not have to pretend. You also do not have to tell everyone what happened. You can find a quiet middle way.
Old wounds
A death can bring back old memories of harm. If that happens, be gentle with yourself and consider talking to someone who understands both grief and trauma.
Letting go of hope
Sometimes grief includes letting go of the hope that one day they would change or say sorry. That can be the hardest part.
