The Library
ScriptTraumaRelationshipsFamily1 minute read
When someone tells you what happened to them
How to respond so they are glad they told you.
If someone trusts you with something painful, how you respond matters a lot.
What to say
- "Thank you for telling me."
- "I believe you."
- "It was not your fault."
- "I am glad you are still here."
- "What would help right now?"
What not to say
- Why did you not leave, or fight, or tell someone?
- Are you sure?
- You need to get over it
- Anything that compares it with something worse
What to do
Listen more than you speak. Let them decide how much to say. Do not tell anyone else unless they agree, unless someone is in immediate danger.
Ask what they need. It might be nothing. It might be company, or help finding a service. The Resource Finder can help, and you can look through it together.
Look after yourself too
Hearing something hard can stay with you. It is fine to talk to someone about how it affected you, without sharing their details.
