Field noteGriefRelationshipsFamily1 minute read
Grieving someone who is still alive
Estrangement, breakups, a parent who changed. Losses nobody holds a funeral for.
Some losses come without a death. A marriage ends. A child stops speaking to you. A parent becomes someone you no longer recognize. A best friend disappears from your life.
There is no ceremony, no time off work, and often no words from anyone else. That does not make it smaller. It often makes it harder to carry, because nobody else sees it.
Why it lingers
The person is still out there. There is always a chance of contact, so there is never quite an ending. Hope and grief take turns.
What helps
Name it as a loss, at least to yourself. Mark it somehow, even privately. Decide what contact, if any, you can live with, and write it down so you are not deciding again every day. Tell one person what you lost.
