What to say when someone is grieving

Most people want to help a grieving friend and are afraid of saying the wrong thing. So they say nothing. Saying something simple is almost always better.

Things to say

• "I am so sorry."
• "I have been thinking about you."
• "I do not know what to say, but I am here."
• "Do you want to talk about them? I would love to hear."
• "I am dropping food off on Thursday. You do not need to see me."

Things to avoid

• Everything happens for a reason
• They are in a better place
• At least they are not suffering, or at least you have other children
• I know exactly how you feel
• Let me know if you need anything, said once and never followed up

Keep showing up

Grief lasts longer than the casseroles. Remember the anniversary. Say their name. Invite them to things, and understand if they say no.