The Library
ExplainerGriefMen1 minute read
Grief and anger
Being furious at the person who died, at doctors, at God, at everyone. Why it happens.
Anger is one of the most common and least talked about parts of grief.
Who people feel angry at
- The person who died, for leaving, for not looking after themselves, for things left unsaid
- Doctors, hospitals or services
- Family members who did or did not help
- God, or the universe
- People who still have what you lost
- Yourself
Why anger comes
Anger often shows up when you feel powerless. Death is the ultimate loss of control. Anger can feel stronger and more bearable than sadness.
What to do with it
- Let it be there without acting on it in ways that hurt anyone
- Move your body: walk, run, chop wood, hit a pillow
- Write it down without censoring yourself
- Tell someone you trust that you are angry and that it is part of the grief
If anger is hurting the people around you, or turning into rage you cannot control, talk to someone. It does not make you a bad person. It means the grief needs more room.
