The Library
ExplainerGrief1 minute read
Continuing bonds with someone who died
Staying connected to someone after death is healthy, not a sign of being stuck.
People used to be told that grieving well meant letting go. Many researchers now describe something different: continuing bonds.
What that means
Staying connected to someone who died, in ways that fit your life, is normal and often helpful. It might be:
- Talking to them in your head or out loud
- Keeping some of their things
- Asking yourself what they would say
- Carrying on something they cared about
- Visiting places that mattered to them
Balance
The aim is to keep the bond while still living your own life. If the connection stops you from living, that may be a sign to get support.
It changes over time
The bond often changes shape. Early on it may be painful. Later it can become a source of comfort and strength.
