Practical guideMenSexual violence1 minute read
Yes, men can be sexually assaulted
The myths male survivors hear most, and what is actually true.
If something happened and you are not sure whether it counts, you are not alone in that uncertainty. Many men spend years unsure what to call it. You do not have to decide today.
The myths
A man cannot be assaulted. He can. By a woman, by a man, by someone he knew, by a partner, by a stranger, as a boy or as an adult.
He should have fought back. Freezing is one of the most common responses to a threat. It is the body protecting itself, not a decision and not a failure.
If his body responded, he wanted it. Arousal is a physical reflex. It is not consent and never was.
It would only happen to a certain kind of man. It happens to men of every size, orientation, background and profession.
Talking about it makes it worse. For some people, telling one trusted person, or one trained stranger, is the first time it gets lighter. For others, it is not the right time. Both are allowed.
If it happened to you
You do not owe anyone your story. If you want to talk, a specialist service for male survivors in your country is often a good first step, because they will not need convincing. The Resource Finder lists some by country.
If it happened recently and you are hurt or unsafe, contact emergency services where you are.
If someone tells you
Believe him. Thank him for telling you. Do not ask why he did not stop it. Ask what would help, and accept it if the answer is nothing yet.
