ExplainerTraumaSexual violenceMen1 minute read
Freezing was not a choice
Why so many people could not move, shout or fight back, and why that was the body protecting you.
One of the hardest questions survivors ask is why they did not fight back, or shout, or run.
Fight, flight, freeze
When the brain senses danger, it picks a response faster than thought. Fighting and running are two options. Freezing is a third, and it is very common, especially when fighting or running would not have worked, or when the danger comes from someone you know.
In a freeze, the body can go still, the voice can disappear, and time can feel strange. Some people feel they left their body. Some go along with what is happening because some part of them judged it safer.
What this means
- Freezing is automatic. You did not decide to do it
- It does not mean you agreed
- It does not mean you wanted it
- It was your body trying to keep you alive
If you still blame yourself
Many survivors replay the moment and imagine doing something different. That is the mind trying to regain control after the fact. Be patient with it. Hearing that freezing is normal, many times, from people who understand, helps.
Specialist services for male survivors can talk this through without judgement. The Resource Finder lists some by country.
