Co parenting with someone you cannot stand

Co parenting with a former partner can be one of the hardest things a person does, especially if the split was bitter.

Treat it like a business arrangement

Polite, brief, focused on the children. You do not have to be friends.

Ways to reduce conflict

• Use a shared calendar or a parenting app
• Keep messages short and factual
• Do not reply when you are angry. Wait a few hours
• Handovers in neutral places if needed

Brief message example

"The kids have a dentist appointment Tuesday at four. Can you take them, or should I?"

If there was abuse

Co parenting with an abusive former partner is different. Parallel parenting, with minimal contact and clear rules, may be safer. Talk to a domestic abuse service about safe arrangements.