The Library
ScriptRelationshipsTraumaMen1 minute read
Telling a partner about your past
Whether, when and how to share what happened to you.
Many survivors wonder whether to tell a partner about abuse, assault or trauma in their past.
You do not have to
Your history is yours. You can choose what to share and when. There is no rule that says a partner must know everything.
Reasons people choose to share
- So their partner understands certain reactions
- To feel closer and less alone
- Because keeping it hidden has become heavy
How to begin
- "There is something from my past I want to tell you. I need you to just listen for now."
- "This is hard for me to say. I will tell you as much as I can."
How they might react
Some partners respond beautifully. Others react with shock, anger at the person who hurt you, or awkward questions. Give them a little time. If they blame or belittle you, that tells you something important.
