Is it abuse, or just a bad relationship

Every relationship has problems. Abuse is something different: a pattern where one person controls, frightens or hurts the other.

Questions to ask yourself

• Am I afraid of how they will react?
• Do I change what I do to avoid setting them off?
• Do they check my phone, money or where I go?
• Have they hurt me, or threatened to?
• Do they put me down, in private or in public?
• Have they cut me off from people?
• Do they make me feel crazy or doubt my memory?

It can happen to anyone

Abuse happens to men and women, in straight and same sex relationships, at any age. Men often do not recognise it because they expect abuse to look a certain way.

Next step

If several of these feel familiar, you do not need to decide anything today. A confidential helpline can help you think it through. Find one for your country.