ExplainerTraumaMenMental health1 minute read
Anger after trauma
When you are short with everyone and do not know why. Where anger often comes from, and what to do with it.
After something frightening or painful, a lot of people do not feel sad. They feel angry. At small things, at people they love, at themselves.
Why anger shows up
Anger is often a cover for fear, shame or grief, because it feels stronger than those. It also comes from a body that is still on high alert. When you are braced for danger all the time, small frustrations feel like threats.
For many men, anger is also the one feeling they were allowed to show.
Signs it is connected
- You snap at things that would not have bothered you before
- You feel a rush of heat and cannot calm down quickly
- You feel guilty afterwards but it keeps happening
- You avoid people so you do not lose your temper with them
What helps
- Notice the early signs: tight jaw, heat in your chest, clenched hands
- Leave the room before it peaks, and tell people you will come back
- Move: walk, run, lift something heavy
- When calm, ask yourself what was under the anger
If your anger is frightening you or the people around you, or if anyone is being hurt, get help now. A doctor or counsellor can help, and so can services for men listed in the Resource Finder.
