"Anything you need" is an open door. Most men will not walk through it. A specific job, offered with a day attached, is far easier to say yes to.
Jobs that help
- Mow the lawn or clear the gutters this weekend.
- Bring two meals he can freeze.
- Drive him to an appointment, or go with him to the bank.
- Help move boxes, clear a garage, or take a load to the dump.
- Pick up the kids on a set day.
- Handle one phone call he has been putting off, with his permission.
- Ring him on Sunday evening, every Sunday, for a month.
How to offer
"I am free Saturday morning. I could come and sort the gutters. Would that help?"
A day, a job, and a question he can answer with one word. If he says no, that is fine. Try another job another week.
Keep going after the first month
Most offers of help arrive in the first two weeks and stop after the funeral or the move. The weeks after that are often harder. Put a reminder in your calendar for one month, three months, and six months, and offer something again each time.
Do not keep score
He may not return calls. He may say no to everything for a while. That is not a judgment on you. Keep the door open with small, regular contact that asks nothing back.
Your task
Pick one job from the list in this module. Offer it to him with a specific day.